#been crying for 30 minutes now | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lesbianralzarek · 3 months ago

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oh my god. yall. ive got an interview tomorrow. im so relieved, i feel high. im perfect for this position and havent had money in years. if i can just get my feet under myself i might be able to feel like a living person again

#they use the same emr system as the place i was trained at. which means i have 180 hours more experience on navigating it #than probably 90% of the other applicants #its not a super common one to know #and the pharmacy is only 30 minutes away....#i might really be doing something other than spinning my wheels endlessly now #i dont wanna get my hopes up too much but seeing someone get back to me mere hours after i FINALLY got my certification number #(and could therefore finally fucking apply for jobs. which i did until 3 AM last night)#is filling me with a relief and sense of value and purpose thats been completely foreign to me for years now #i cant help but cry. yanno?

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a-crimson-impressionism · 5 months ago

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Pros of watching The Midnight Gospel: it's an incredible show, it feels very transformative, and it's short if you don't have time to commit to something long. Great to binge

Cons (if you interpret them that way, they could just be more pros): you might cry, don't be surprised, especially if you binge it! And I feel like I can't watch anything else now since it was such a magnificent, wacky, introspective work.

#the midnight gospel #midnight gospel #ive been crying for 30 minutes and i kind of love it #a lot of my art is centered around grief and sitting with it and feeling it. its about feeling the pain to move on #so of course i love this show so much. its practically all about learning to live here and now because of the grief #because life is so short and precious. life presently and fully and love with an open heart that will be fragile because its open #and you will experience the truest love and greatest heartbreak and it will feel like learning the secrets of the universe

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cranberrymoons · 5 months ago

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#currently on the worst road trip of my whole entire life! well. i don't want to jinx it lmao but #today i popped TWO TIRES at once in the middle of the Katy Freeway in Houston TX (the widest highway in the US; 26 lanes btw)#managed to make it over to the shoulder without DYING but then had to sit there for like an hour? and panic called a tow truck because duh #I know how to change a tire but I was – again – sitting on the shoulder of the widest freeway on the continent so #anyway I called a tow; a guy showed up. I assumed it was the tow! turned out it was not. but he helped me put on the spare and then was lik #“follow me to my shop I can do the tires for you” and I was like okay! 👍 but then the ACTUAL tow called me and I realized this was #just a random guy (very nice up to that point but then I got scared about following him to a secondary location?) and so I didn't lmao #I just kept driving and didn't follow him but the guy on the phone was then mad at me because I wasn't where I said I would be because #AGAIN – I thought the original guy WAS the tow company that I called? but anyway guy 2 on the phone was like “YOU OWE ME $200!!!!”#and I said for what? also how would I pay you? and he tried to get me to cash app him lmao?? I didn't. I hung up on him #he called me like 6 more times yelling at me until I finally just blocked his number 💀#however NOW at this point I'm driving on one spare tire and one rapidly-flattening second tire and I still have 3 hours left to get where #I was going for the night and to top it all off I'm in the middle of a city I've only been to one time before? so I manage to get to a hote #like a nice-ish one where I'm like “okay if I get stuck here this won't be the end of the world”#because keep in mind today is a national holiday so basically everything is closed!!!! btw!!!!!#but eventually I'm sitting there and it's literally 100F outside and I remember oh right lol I have car insurance which pays for a tow #(a normal one; not a random one I panic-found on google who calls me screaming at me to cash app him $200)#so anyway I call my insurance and the guy on the phone is very nice and is like “it's okay; we'll have someone to you in 45 min”#and I'm like okay. OKAY. 🙌💪 I am a strong independent woman who is figuring this out and no longer on the side of the highway #but instead in a nice calm neighborhood and all I have to do is wait 45 min and everything will be okay #one hour goes by. I call back. get redirected to the tow company that was dispatched. guy says oh! is my guy not there yet?#I say no. he says okay – I'll have him call you. hangs up.#okay. 20 more min go by. guy finally calls me. says “I'm 20-25 min away” at this point I've been waiting about an hour and a half #I say. okay? okay. 30 more minutes go by. I try to call the guy back. straight to voicemail. three more calls. three more no answers.#I call my insurance back. sit on hold for 15 min. eventually get put through to a different person who's like “okay let me check on him”#get put on hold. eventually she comes back and says “okay he says 15 minutes” I've been waiting over 2 hours at this point. I have to PEE #I just... burst into tears. on the phone with this poor random woman from Geico Insurance. I'm bawling my eyes out.#she was trying to get claim info from me but I'm crying so hard she's like “oh baby no. okay. okay. we can get that from you tomorrow.”#when you cry so hard that even the insurance company is like “you know what we're just going to let this one slide”#anyway guy eventually shows up. he's very nice even though I hate him a little for being so late. he drives me to an OPEN TIRE SHOP

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papermatisse · 4 months ago

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Jinyoung is free

#jinyoung #bae jinyoung #cix #ive been crying for like 30 minutes straight #in the timeline where jinyoung's “i wanna play w you” line now makes me burst into tears #i hate c9 entertainment #w a burning passion #i am praying for their downfall #i wish jinyoung the best #im still sad

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loderlied · 6 months ago

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i will go to sleep NOW 🫵 (pointing at myself)

#just can’t sleep lately. but #i’m sort of. my mental health hasn’t been getting better but also not worse.#just perpetually stuck in a hole in the ground recently #can’t find footing and climb up but the earth isn’t crumbling away even more for now #like i am alone always nobody likes my creations or me i am a monster yeah yeah yeah it’s getting boring brain #the hypochondria panic about throat cancer is new but i thought we were getting better at handling our health anxiety you wretched creature #and even then it’s recycled. we’ve done cancer so many times #no creativity 🙄🙄#me going over my throat every 5 minutes: i will die in 8 months #i guess with all this loneliness it’s like. it really amplifies my fear of death. my thoughts are all i have ultimately. just the thought of #absolutely nothing… i can’t think about it for too long or else i will start crying #and losing it even more. idk.#you know those characters who hate being immortal n shit. fun trope and i get it but that would also never be me #i would legit do anything for something like that. even just like. 100 more years. ideally a lot more but #yeah. and then my anxiety brain crashes in with ‘you won’t even turn 30 lol’#anyways. bullshit yap time over here i guess. sending good vibes to whoever read this brain fart

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confinesofmy · 16 days ago

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i've been thinking about it and i'm not cursed at all i'm just living in struggle county and poor. no one here is doing their job correctly. nothing ever works out. groceries are through the roof because of the monopolies the local stores have and when there are sales they don't update their system so you don't even pay the sale prices. i tried to get a dent in my car fixed through insurance and had difficulty reaching the insurance office, then difficulty reaching the body work places, then never got a callback after my appointment so i stopped pursuing it. i had weird lights on my dash a different time, took it in. they wiped the warning readouts and told me to take it somewhere else and when i did the readouts were no longer present so they couldn't do anything. that all took 3 hours out of my day for nothing. i bought new tires but they weren't a certified dealer so i don't get the brand warranty in its entirety, which i hope never becomes relevant. when i went to the doctor they gave me the wrong dosage on my script then wouldn't fix it without another appointment that i couldn't afford so i just quit taking it. the local pharmacy will run low on a med and edit your script to accomodate their shortage but then you run out early and don't have a script anymore and the pharmacy says it's your problem not theirs. mail often runs late so you'll miss important appointments and deadlines because if the office itself is 4 business days late sending out their mail and then the postal service is 3 business days late bam. that's you getting your mail a week and a half late. it's unlivable. you're not meant to live here.

#some of the indignities i have suffered in the past 2 years are unspeakable #but if i think about it this sort of thing has always been happening it's just now it's happening constantly and impacting me 10x worse #i'm planning my appointment with the bank and i realised i need to wear rich people cosplay to subtly indicate #that i have the funds to utilise out of county legal resources #and am not afraid to do so #because their angle—and it's all of these business' angle—is that they can get away with this bc there's nothing i can do about it #what am i gonna do switch to the single other bank in town #drive 30 minutes further for my medicine #or my medical care #or my automotive services #they can all do whatever they want because people with no other resources will still have to rely on them #i saw a woman in the doctors office last year who was using a cane and could barely walk and she was at the nurse's counter CRYING #bc they were treating her like she was a dealer bc she needed pain relief & the doctor had left the appointment without giving her an rx #that woman left empty-handed and has probably been back to that office since because what else can you do.#i'm not cursed i am living in an uninhabitable space. i am not wanted here. these people will not help me for all the money in the world.#they are doing their jobs properly for the people in their church groups and for their families and their friends and i am none of those #so why would i expect them to do anything for me #i gotta get outta here #adam yaps

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mousetrappart · 1 year ago

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Did you know he got his wife in the divorce?

#two sleep deprived people in a vc make for wonderfully inane entertainment #ive been crying from laughter for 30 minutes #going to go #pass out now #enjoy this? maybe?

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maniacace · 10 months ago

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this is the perfect show if you want to gain a whole bunch of serotonin and then lose it all very quickly and painfully.

#i have been crying for the last 30 minutes #so many thoughts but tbh i can't really tupe right now so #yeah #might be normal in between 5 to 300 business days #fuck #good omens #good omens 2 #c speaks into the void

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selfshippinglover · 3 months ago

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Vent ignore

#been trying to sleep for like 30 minutes #and my head hurts from being tired and crying #gods I'm such a little bitch #i make one little ittty bitty fuck up and my brain goes lol #see you can't get better #like dude i have to wake up at 5am can i cry anout this sfter work tomorrow instead.#you can kys after the captialism grind okay?#im head fucking hurts #it is weird when you have abandonement issues #and are constantly scared of veing abandoned #and then you fuck uo just the right way and your brain goes full opposite gears??#like #nah it's better that they leave you #they are better off with you #theyre safer when they're not with you #motherfucker pick a crisis #you can not have a problem with both!!#🙄🙄#sometimes i am like if i got a labatomy i would be a better #bit really thr problem is of i make one mistake my brain goes back to #if im not oerfect i will be left to die #which is valid and deserved and understandable #please i just wanted to sleep #stop throwing yourself a pity party #grow up or shut down #i should not share my emotions #lol #i have learned that whrn i talk to myself i am mean #but i still think that's better than being a prick to others #going to try to sleep now that that's out there

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just-mebs · 6 months ago

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Random breakdown at 3am let's go besties 🤪

#ive been crying for like 30 minutes now #mine.mebs #neg.mebs

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hidendumbassvillage · 11 months ago

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#don't mind me #i've built wall so high around myself that when I called my mom crying this afternoon i couldn't even tell her it's because i wanted to end #physically breaking down and yet i still can't let down my walls #now my dad is coming home and we'll have a talk together but I have no idea how to handle the situation #he's never come close to my walls #i'm pretty sure my walls are hiding a pit of emptyness btw #i feel like i'm being attributed feelings by other and I'm so used to saying “yes that's how I feel” when in reality idek #i'm not sure i've been really deeply honest with my psych but I can't open up in 30 minutes same problem as always #i can't even tell him that i need his help figuring out whether i'm on the spectrum or not (i just need to know)#don't rb ovbiously #not naruto

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aberooski · 9 months ago

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I'm seriously hanging on by a thread right now I might just go drop dead 😭

#work has just been really overwhelming today I'm going to crack #I hate people #I almost broke down in front of the usher manager today because our radio died while we were falling behind becaus3 #one of the theatres got out slightly late and set us back for like 45 minutes because everything was gettinf out one on top of the other #on complete opposite ends of the theater #amd it's not a small building guys #and I was already angry because there was a huge spill in a theater earlier I had to get a mop for and it was a pain in the ass #then we started falling behind and when we fall behind I get really stressed so I jad to ask the usher manager for help to catch up when we #were switching radios and even with his help we didn't catch back up until JUST NOW because we're on a 30 minute set break #and I've jusy been stressing and running around the theater and I want to go home and cry and drop dead #I'm so hot and tired and drained amd my legs have been sore for DAYS and this is NOT helping and I hate it here and I qant a real job #like I'm fucking 24 years old this shouldn't be the best I can do but trying to find anything else to get out of here has been IMPOSSIBLE #and I just feel so hopeless and helpless and trapped and miserable #I'm so angry and sad and tired and in pain and miserable all the time now #and it's awful and I hate it I don't wanna be that wah anymlre #I can't even type oh my god #I'm dying #abby's having a crisis

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plushri · 10 months ago

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The femme question by Joan Nestle spoke to me so much, it's sad how little has changed it terms of femme acceptance outside of butch/femme communities

#I finished reading it like 30 minutes ago and I've just been sitting here #I don't cry easily but I am doing my version of crying right now #the persistent desire #butchfemme #femme #femme posting

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solcarow · 10 months ago

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